Today is a complicated day for me, it's coming with a lot of complicated feelings of inadequacy, anger, confusion, and oddly freedom. I think that's all I'm going to say on that subject, to say it's a sore one is putting it lightly.
Instead of dancing around my issues, today I'm going to talk about the idea of the duality of being a creator but also having to market yourself like a producer. Early on there aren't many art dealers who will work with young artists. They don't want new blood, they want established artists who they can predict what's coming next and even if they can't at least they'll know it's marketable.
So duality in it's simplest form is black and white, two sides of the same coin. However, I've found being at the very beginning of this learning curve there are a lot of grey areas in how you can get your work out there. You straddle the artist side and the business persons side, which one wins, and when does it become more of a performance piece than an actual interaction with human beings? Whether it would be respected later on by gallery owners and museums who knows? But isn't what's important the fact that people can see, buy, interact, and discuss your work? Art doesn't pay. For most people it doesn't pay for a large majority of their life. So how do I get in?
The answer unfortunately, is social media. Unless you're really good at small talk, the answer is social media. I hate it. I know most artists hate it. I enjoy writing this blog, I enjoy making photographs, I enjoy painting. But I hate having to make sure that it goes up on every platform imaginable. I don't do so well in real social situations, so you can imagine the anxiety and white knuckled fear that happens when I put something out there for the internet, which has proven to be an incredibly unyielding and cruel place. But for my generation, I don't see another way out.
Anyway, in this case I don't think I have an answer, and there are some things both in this subject and in others that I don't really want to talk about today. Some will be revealed soonish (I hope). I'm hoping to move along that learning curve and share that part of my journey with you all.