I'm having a hard time writing today because today marks a weird anniversary for me and I'm not sure if I want to talk about it or not.
September 1st has always been the back to school madness and excitement. It's always marked the end of another summer and the beginning of something new even if the school year didn't start exactly on the 1st, there was something final about the date.
I never liked the summer, except maybe when I was really young and got to go to camp, but I hate the heat I don't like summer clothing, and I'm not a huge fan of not being in school. I like school it makes sense to me.
This year there's no school, no real difference between the 31st and the 1st, and I think that's why I forgot this anniversary. There's no moving into dorms, no getting ready and buying school supplies, no prepping for classes. It's a weird feeling not to have that structure in my life, and I think that's why I've assigned myself these blog posts and the daily walks to add some structure to my life. It's definitely working, and it's made me a much easier person to be around.
I had a rough day after I fully realized that it's officially September, and my body and brain are only moderately calming down now. My heart hasn't raced like this in a long time. I don't really have enough energy to write a thought out post about art or pontificate about being inspired by something.
I don't think I'm ready to really talk about what's going on in my head this week, but I suppose it's enough to say I'm grateful to be alive and to have the people around me that I have. There are a lot of people I want to thank and hug this week that I don't think I'm going to get a chance to do so. But to those of you reading this that I know in real life, know that there's an extra amount of love coming from me.
I'm sure I will open up about this and leave you a less cryptic post eventually but for now this is what I've got. A good friend today told me that someone made him uncomfortable in the right way, and this is about as uncomfortable as I can manage today.