freewrite: artists are liars

now that I've gotten over the proverbial hump and opened up enough to make me feel better, but not enough to give any of my readers any substantial information about myself. it works for me, I guess words do not ever truly capture what's going on inside the human brain. It's like we're smarter than ourselves, language has not quite caught up with emotion. but art has, it has captured beauty, pain, ignorance, and joy more than any short entry. words are of course part of that, but as a visual artist I can never seem to balance the truth and lie so perfectly that the the written word requires. I can however make a photograph that is both total truth and completely fiction, that tells my autobiography and also one of a life I wish I'm living. I speak a lot about honesty, in this blog, in my work, in my life, but the truth is a lie and a truth are always two sides of the same coin for me. the line is blurred and I think it is for everyone. if in art we are trying to capture all of human emotion, pain, joy, and sacrifice, the lie has to be a part of that as well. if we are trying to make something that someone feels pierce through their body we have to put all of ourselves into it, including the darkness. that is the responsibility, so forgive us for sprinkling some protection, some insurance of distance if need be, on our work.