summer rain

remember those nights
when i would stand outside
waiting for the summer rain
to soak through my pajamas
i was a child sucking in carbon monoxide
to feel what it was like to find slow death
i was standing with my eyes to the heavens
wondering why everything i was taught was a lie
the rain chilling my skin as i wished for winter again
tonight felt like those nights
when you were on the other end of the phone
i've left behind my childish behavior
learning what it's like to feel the rain without
the romanticism, learning that there's peace
without planning when your cigarette goes out
i walk outside, allow the summer rain to cool my skin
feeling alive in that moment, and that is all i can ask