Well, I’ve won myself some pneumonia, which is going to make for a very uncomfortable couple of days. It also might be my body telling me to slow down for just a minute. On my drive all around the state today I was thinking about how uncomfortable I was. I couldn’t really take a deep breath without it being painful, and when I tried I would cough, but now I’ve got a pile of medicines and inhalers and I’m not as uncomfortable as I was before.
The thing is I think I need to be a pretty specific kind of uncomfortable to make work, I don’t know if it’s like that to anyone else, but in order for me to do something when it comes to making art or more specifically planning art, I have to be out of my comfort zone. There’s a balance though, the past year and a half of my life was the wrong type of uncomfortable, I was frozen from all the changes happening. However now that I’m somewhat settled and I know I’ll always have something to eat, I’m feeling more ready to make some stuff. This is piggybacking off of yesterday’s entry, if I don’t move around in a way that gives me time to work stuff out in my head I can’t really focus the creative energy anywhere. An artist’s muse is kind of an asshole if you ask me, not that I don’t appreciate a burst of creative energy, but for the most part it’s trudging through quick sand trying to get myself to a place where I create. I know not all artists are like this, many people are far more motivated than I, I know artists that can crank out a fully formed series in less than a week. I admire them. I am not one of them.
So I’m trying to find the sweet spot for being uncomfortable enough to make work but not too stressed out about food and housing and you know, basic human needs. I suppose changing locations enough when I write or plan is probably the right amount uncomfortable, change of scenery, change of pace, I do feel more motivated to make things now that I’m more surrounded by other artists. So here’s the advice to myself section of this blog: don’t be sedentary (unless you have pneumonia because running around with that is not a good idea), change locations to write or plan, and surround yourself with other artists. Baby steps Bri, baby steps.
I’m going to go pass out now if the steroids allow me to. Hopefully everything works as quickly as the doctors said it would and I’ll be back to my medium level of health in a few days.