Outsider

he never thought ahead
always waiting for something to happen
waiting for a safety net, one he could fall softly on
he and his bags under his eyes
branding him as a hard worker
but he was a hard thinker
proof that his late night brainstorming
were just that
never telling a soul
hoping someday someone would find his genius
he yearned for discovery
but action was not his thing
one day he was gone
run away or dead
he left a house full of work
too shy to show the world
his talent lives on
another outsider
he never really thought ahead

I went with a change of scenery and pace today, normally I write on my way home or to work, I’ve got a lot of time commuting. I’ve been using that time to listen to the CD’s of the artists I’m working with, I used to hate listening to things over and over again, but between the talent and the excitement about the project I’m pretty happy about it. Instead I went to my favorite coffee shop from when I was still in college, I was meeting someone there later on so I figured I’d get there early, it’s a pretty fun talent of mine to get place ridiculously early. If I don’t I get a bit anxious. I like this shop, there are seats in the front windows that kind of make you feel like you’re sitting in a fish bowl. It’s a prime people watching spot. I like watching people and trying to figure out the relationships. Is it a date? Is it a study group? Are they friends meeting up after a while? Lots of questions, no answers I dig that.

I did a lot of work today, a lot of it isn’t a big deal, but it’s been a tough few days, so I’m proud of myself. I’ll be even happier once the holidays are over. I’m a little bit of a grinch until the day of. Retail no matter how good of a job it is makes you grumpy. I’m more content because despite my mental health struggles at the moment I’m creating and planning on creating more things. It’s a good place to be in, again it’s been a while since I’ve been this motivated to make a series. I adore collaborating with musicians, they’re probably my favorite artists to do so with, I love working with people who’s art I respect deeply.

Anyway I think that’s enough for tonight. I feel like I’m consistently crawling back from crisis, but I’m getting much better at it.