in between

we're here, but we're not
in that in-between phase
where the fear runs our days
and the heaviness our nights
each night we close our eyes
whispers of stay, stay, stay
please stay
but every morning our hearts
say go, our heads say run
we were never good at running
slow and always looking behind us
always preparing to trip
the fog that settles in
right before the heaviness
is our only solace
telling the outside world
that we are worth it
but only with a push