I am Fucking Angry

I tried to write a different entry today, because I did not want to add to the slew of triggering posts that are filling up the Facebook world right now, but I could not sit in the rain long enough to stop thinking about this and write something else.

This is what Dr. Christine Blasey Ford had to face today. I don’t think any of us can accurately measure how much power is in that room, but it’s a lot. A lot of power, where more than half of the members of that committee were looking to discredit her, and she testified with grace and dignity, despite not getting due process from the FBI for which she asked. Make no mistake, the GOP is putting a survivor of sexual assault on trial here, she is not the one asking for the honor of being put on the Supreme Court of the United States. She had everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain. Yet people still question. I am not someone who believes in grey areas in sexual assault, but according to her testimony there was no grey areas, she was assaulted. Her memory of it was clear.

Senator Sheldon Whitehouse of Rode Island mentions that “Never in the history of background investigations has an investigation not been pursued when new credible derogatory information was brought forward about the nominee”. Never. Dr. Blasey Ford asked for an FBI investigation, she took a lie detector test and passed, she has clear memories of the event, she has spoken about it more than once to more than one person over many years, she has named her attacker both in private therapy sessions and in public. This is credible derogatory information.

Here I will try to plea to the humanity of anyone still questioning her legitimacy, or people who are blindly backing Kavanaugh because you want to continue to blindly back Trump. Dr. Christine Blasey Ford has literally put her life on the line to prevent this man from making some of the most important and permanent decisions that are made for this country, this is not a man that can be voted out of office if we decide that this was a bad idea (it is). Survivors all over this country and the world are ripping their hearts out on social media, begging you to understand, that reporting is traumatic, that sharing one of the worst moments in your life with people in power is terrifying and traumatic, that sometimes it’s easier not to report because the system is rigged so sexual abusers get away with it consistently.

If you were a victim of a crime wouldn’t you want due process? Wouldn’t you want a complete investigation into what happened? If you said no to either of those questions then your values do not line up with the values that this country was supposedly built on. That is what is happening right now, no due process, no FBI investigation, just a committee that does not have the power to prosecute, just to question.

What I really want to write about tonight is that the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, and the fact that we have an admitted sexual abuser sitting in the White House right now has continually and painfully ripped open old wounds for millions of survivors. For every public facebook post of a survivor who feels they need to tell their story right now to try to make other people understand that sometimes things are not as simple as they seem. There’s millions of survivors texting their friends because they cannot talk about it in public. There’s thousands of posts in survivor and other private social media pages discussing how this treatment of Dr. Ford has brought back PTSD symptoms. This is hurting the American people.

Here’s the thing, we do not owe you anything. The extra emotional labor being put in is because people love this country and they do not want to have someone who has multiple credible sexual assault allegations against him, in a lifetime appointment voting on their Supreme Court. So when someone shares their story we should thank them, we should thank them for ripping open old wounds to try to make this world a little less shitty. We should be applauding the brave people who are coming forward and giving you their blood, sweat and tears to try to stop this from happening. They know how real it is, and how dangerous it is to have a man like Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court, because they know a person like Brett Kavanaugh, so they are screaming at the top of their lungs to make this stop.

The court does not belong to the president, the court and the government belong to the people. The people have spoken. Dr. Christine Blasey Ford has spoken, and yet, there’s still a vote planned.

So I’m fucking angry. Livid. Sad. Frustrated. I threw up today.

Tired. I am tired.

So for now, it’s a hot shower, some quality cat time, and The Good Place.

Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other.

love

bri