Days Like Today

on days like today
i feel the past coursing through my body
i walk slowly, clinging to nobody
it's days like today
when the wind cuts through me
all i wish i could do is see
see what's in store
see myself wanting more
but the more turns into less
and the past leaves me to clean
up the mess that i made
it's days like today when
my eyelids close
i try to make the most
of what's left of the instinct
the instinct to survive
the instinct to thrive
it's days like today
when i can't feel that past
tugging me one way or another
so i wait, wait to smother
or stoke the flames
i wait for someone other than me to blame
it's days like today
when the roller coaster has stopped
just for a moment
all the way at the top
and i breathe, waiting to be dropped
knowing it's coming
but the operator is asleep
so it could be years until i drop
the uncertainty doesn't stop
him from holding that lever
my life in his hands
my body jammed in
hoping that i can't fall out
it's days like today
i breathe,
i breathe,
i breathe.