Hope: That Girl

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches on the soul"
-Emily Dickinson


for a long time there was a desert down my face
an emptiness when i closed my eyes
a quietness to my contemplation
but i am no longer that girl
weeping for joy and for pain
dreaming of a better tomorrow
using the voice i was given
for a long time there was a closeness with strangers
an attachment to the obscene
an obsession with the macabre
i am still that girl
she wades through that darkness
but she is balanced by the light
they say hope is the worst thing
the worst thing in an impossible situation
but i am not that girl
hope puts one foot in front of another
hope drowns out the demons
hope can be paralyzing
but it can also be beautiful and freeing
so i choose the paralyzing beautiful feeling
because without it
i would not be this girl