I Don't Have it in me Right now.

I have nothing to say tonight. I’m crawling not walking at the moment. I wish I had something more, but the best I can do is write a short entry telling my readers that I don’t have it in me right now. I am tired of being sad, I’m tired of being happy for only a brief moments at a time. It’s not fair to my friends or family.

I know it will pass, it always does, it’s just fucking exhausting. Lifelong illnesses are irrational and frustrating and stability is always temporary. Therapists tell you that mindfulness and medications will help, and they do, but they aren’t a cure. Some days I just want a cure.