Today I'm diving back in, trying to trace where the source of this insane block is coming from. I know I said I'd mix it up today, but I get home later tomorrow so I'll write something fun and short. See, I've always been a political person, in fact my existence on this planet makes it impossible not to be. My art on the other hand has always been incredible personal, sure I've made statements that were political at times, and there was that chalk thing, but for the most part I've made art about growing up and living in suburbia. I am experiencing an integration of sorts between my political identity and my art, part of that is because everything is politics now (which is a sign of fascism by the way). So instead of what I usually make art about I want to make things that are community building, I want to make weird kind of funny photographs of post apocalyptic royalty living in the ruins of humanity. I know those things have nothing to do with each other, but that's where my head is right now. All over the fucking place. I have an idea to combine the two things, but I have no clue about how to make it into something. I feel like I'm starting from scratch, and someone has changed the rules just a little bit. I'm still learning the relationship between f-stop and shutter speed, I haven't even been let near the conceptual thought process yet. I'm still learning the mechanics. The world we are living in now is a different world I was taught how to be an artist in. It's terrifying, and I'm sorry but it's not looking like there's a good way to fix it in a timely manner, especially since it's been broken for so long. It just took a lot of us way to long to realize it, and now we may be past the point of no return. (Masha Gessen said to remain the hysteric in the room so I'm going to stand by this statement and continue to make statements like this I am not sorry). So this is the world that we all have to create in now, where everything is huge and everything is politics. It feels like a lot of people are out there doing it well, and I want to know their secret.
I think I'm still so shell shocked by the recent rapid decline in civilization and a few eh personal things for the last few years of my existence (I'm not exactly a closed book here people) that I have to learn how to be an artist again. Boil down a big idea into something challenging, yet consumable, don't try to include too many things, and plan ahead so you're sure when you make the opposite decision later on you know you're right because you are going with your gut not just changing your mind because of poor planning. I have to get back to the mechanics before I can start to unpack what the hell is happing right now. For now I'll be writing, and hopefully making along with the writing. Maybe there is an addition to the unofficial non binding "rules" here.
Anyway, I'm going to go microwave some soup.