Hop In The Ass: A New Year's Story

It’s a story my grandmother used to tell every new years, forgive me because the last few times she told it she didn’t know all the information, therefore I’m a little twisted about specifics, if any family member knows the whole thing feel free to jump in. I think it’s become more legend than anything else,

It’s an immigration story, one that almost every family has if you go back far enough, I don’t know if it was about her great uncle or my grandfathers grandfather, but whoever it was didn’t speak a lick of English when he came to America (which makes me think it was probably someone related to grandpa), he came to the US, and then to New York around Christmastime, and was walking around New York on New Years Day, people were telling him Happy New Years, to which he enthusiastically responded “Hop in the ass!” (say it fast, you’ll get it). Eventually both my grandfather’s and grandmother’s families did pretty well for themselves, because they were given the chance. There are a lot of us now, we may have come here generations ago, but we still made the trek. I think those of us who’s families came to the US a long time ago need to remind ourselves that we were once strangers at it’s door and we were welcomed.

I like this family story, maybe because my grandmother loved it so much, maybe because I like a little bit of vulgarity with my family history. Probably because hearing the fairly proper, very Catholic, Pat Florio say “ass” always made me giggle.

I don’t really believe in the 31st and the 1st being all that different, I fell asleep at 11:30 last night with a cat on my lap with Parks and Rec on very quietly in the background. To be honest I couldn’t really bring myself to make plans, I should have, I only sort of regret it. The last year hasn’t been an easy one, but when is a year ever? Maybe when you’re a kid? I don’t believe in blaming the year, both beautiful and horrible things are constantly happening regardless of the arbitrary numbers we put on time.

I know it’s human nature to want to put neat brackets on things, and it’s also human nature to attempt change at the beginning and end of those brackets. Historically I don’t do well with long term resolutions, small short term goals are probably healthier anyway.

I will say that I do have two things I’d like to do in the coming year, one is be kinder to myself and the other is be kinder to the people around me including those who I might not see eye to eye with.

Anyway, until next time

Hop in the ass!