It’s been a weird and kind of scary couple of weeks for me, but I’m handling it about as well as I can. I’ve been dealing with a physical illness for a while now that I didn’t have answers to until a week and a half ago, now I’m feeling better.
I feel like I’ve learned this lesson so often in the last year, and so often I forget it until life throws me again, home is not always where you hang your hat. Home is with friends who jump at the chance to help you, looking up rooms and new jobs when you just can not do it again. Home is a calm voice on the other end of the telephone. Home is someone making you laugh when you really are not in the mood. Home is a couch to sleep on and a hot meal with family when fury, hurt and confusion are blinding you to the good things that are happening in your life. Home is music that fills you up when you’re just about empty.
Home is a beautiful, warm, sunny, day after a frozen miserable week.
I am uncertain where I will be in a month, two months, six months.
I wish I knew, I am an adventurer, but I am tired.
Thank you to those of you who have stood by me, those of you who answer the phone no matter what, those of you who check in on me when you know I’m unable to reach out.
I am grateful for my family both blood and not. I am grateful for the incredibly loyalty and love I’ve been shown during what is shaping up to be one of the most difficult 10 months of my life. I’ve kept my head above water for the most part because of the people in my life and because of the strength imbued to me from years of learning how to be okay with the chaos surrounding me.
So here goes nothing.