untitled

There have been times where I’ve been called cold and unapproachable, where an effort of protection was made into this steely exterior that made me hard. I was good at isolation because I was a good liar, people believed me because I have an honest face and I’m good with words. It’s only recently I’ve started being truly vulnerable with other people in my life and it is a lot. My energy level is pretty low in comparison to other people my age, and that’s fine. I’m starting to learn that people aren’t going to run from me, at least the people I have in my life now. I can get really really scary and still know that the people who love me will still love me. This has been important this week, and I’m breaking my process mold for this piece because I think it’s important. I had one of the best weeks of my life being injured, I made so much art, I experienced so much community that I feel refreshed and renewed and hopeful that someday I’ll be able to put that much time into making work again. Yet, I had some scary dark moments this week, that didn’t make sense with what was going on externally. but it still happened. It taught me I could handle them, it taught me that I can write about them, and it taught me that I have people in my life I trust enough not to run when it gets scary with me. I have more trust in my life than I have ever before and its equally terrifying and exhilarating. I’m going to try to keep trusting, and learning more from the beautiful people around me. It’s been a wild scary ride this time around. but it taught me some important lessons.