there is an end coming, but we make it the most wholesome and inviting environment, leading by example; even though the world is burning.
I never know when to trust a burst of creative energy, it is a gift to me, which is a frustrating feeling as an artist, it’s odd, part of me is really grateful for this injury, though I feel very guilty for leaving my coworkers the amount of work I left them, I am free to create things, all day, with very little to do other than make things and relax. We live in a society that makes me grateful to be pretty badly injured, and that injury happened at work, so I am not losing money. That’s incredibly twisted and wrong. We should be able to take time off multiple times a year to help us relax and be more productive. Working fourty hours a week all year and only getting a weeks vacation a year is what leads to burn out, or miserable employees. I should not be grateful to be injured; with an injury that’s probably going to affect me the rest of my life, since once you roll an ankle there’s no going back.
The labor laws in this country have to change, working full time and not being able to pay the bills is unfair, it creates a permanent caste system that’s almost impossible to get out of unless you get really lucky. At my current job, which I really enjoy doing, I come home feeling so drained that I don’t even really want to socialize with my awesome roommates. It’s sad and frustrating. We are all so terrified of losing our jobs that we don’t dare ask for more, mostly for fear that others will not join us and that we will end up leading a lonely ineffective way. I think workers and laborers need to start talking to each other, especially retail workers. Many people have no clue the kind of energy and patience needed to avoid getting in trouble with both supervisors and customers. They don’t know the amount of verbal abuse we take every day, or the subtle or not so subtle sexism.
But creative energy can’t be built out of any of that, anger is an emotion that needs additional add ons in order to use it to create good art, but working in retail with the public the only thing you feel at the end of the day is exhaustion, frustration and anger. Nothing worth making work out of. Maybe with distance, maybe not.
A peek at my process post, today I wrote about the happiness I feel a little free from my job, and the creative energy to go along with it, the pieces are closer to each other today.
I think what I’m getting at is we need to find a better way to make it work, because the earth is better with beauty and conscious in it.